


Of All The Things.  1/1.

by punky_96



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12457080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Re-post from LJ.OMG--the crack!!!!  What a blast from the past!  Does anyone remember YSOSRSMIRANDA??????CRACK: Andy and Miranda before a new blank page begins…





	Of All The Things.  1/1.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hawkbehere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkbehere/gifts).



 

 

**Title** : Of All The Things  
 **Author** : punky_96  
 **Pairing** : Andy, Miranda, mentions of others and FANFICS!!!  
 **Rating** : PG-13  
 **Summary** : CRACK: Andy and Miranda before a new blank page begins…  
  
*I am indebted to all the DWP writers that I’ve read and made allusions to as many as I could think of, but now feel a little foolish b/c I can’t credit all of you since I’ve read them all in the last 2.5 months in a blur… Oh, in particular this is inspired by HBH's character aware Andy  
  
*A link to HBH's story that got me into this:  <http://hawkbehere.livejournal.com/14787.html>  


 

 

****__  
Of All The Things  
  
“Miranda I’ve done everything for you. Everything anyone could think of.”  
  
Miranda raises an eyebrow.  
  
“I’ve left Nate, Christian, had a baby, had superpowers, lived on a Space Pirate ship, seduced you, been seduced by you, fought with you, been romantic, violent, you name it.”  
  
Miranda again says nothing.  
  
“You’ve been mean to me, nice to me, made me into a vampire. Seduced, toyed with me, rejected me.”  
  
Miranda just looks on.  
  
“I’ve had cancer so many times I can’t count. You’ve had brain tumors and alzheimers. We’ve died of a sexy heart attack in the heat of the moment at ages 75 and 100. I can draw, you can cook, and sometimes you can draw. Or you can dance and I can play lacrosse. Or I’m orgasmic about grilled cheese sandwiches and you pretend to hate Jane Austen. I’ve been a succubus to your incubus and let you sing that absurd song from ‘Twilight’ to me.”  
  
Miranda blinks.  
  
“I’ve stayed with you, left you, waited for you, moved on, been seduced back. Lived my life in wonder about you and the missed chances. I’ve been your serving woman when you were a queen. And I’ve probably even helped you hide Irv Ravitz’ body at least once. I’ve slept with Serena, Emily, and even Nigel just to be in the same story as you.”  
  
Miranda looks miffed.  
  
“Your children either want to play Wii with me and go to Broadway shows, or they try to kill me with strawberry donuts. I’ve worked at the Mirror, Rolling Stone, the Times, the New Yorker and every other publication known to woman.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“In every single one, you are frustrating.”  
  
“And you, my dear, are a disaster at the beginning of each one. I start out frustrated each time we have a new blank page to fill. So yes, I’m ‘frustrating’ as you say. Is it really too much to ask for that you realize that?  
  
“So if I get shot in this one, you’ll come to the hospital?”  
  
Miranda rolls her eyes. “Of all the things.” She puffs out exasperated.  
  
“Well, will you?”  
  
Miranda sighs and looks at the back of her hand to assess how her nails are doing. “Well, yes, of course. It’s a Mirandy fic and I have to put in an appearance just like at the Black and White Ball.”  
  
“Oh. NO! Here we go again. I do not want you to show up for an obligatory whatnot! Either you show up because you love me or I’m going to jump into a Seremily and have a hot time in the old town tonight.”  
  
“Oh. You do that and there will be no fic for you to jump in after that. I’ll send a computer virus after you so fast that you won’t know what hit you. It will be like all the hype of Y2K raining down on you for realz.” Miranda pauses letting her words sink in to a rather mollified looking Andy. “I have a zombie apocolypse to squash, a meeting with the folks from Amberlight, and then Jade wanted to see if we would have her for a meal tonight or this weekend. But I have every intention of coming to the hospital, if you get shot this time. I swear—you make a mountain out of this every time. It’s not like you get shot in every fic.”  
  
“Yeah. But when you go to the hospital for your heart attacks, gunshots, and drinking mixed with pills—I show up! With bells on. I sometimes even crawl into bed with you and get mistaken for your daughter.”  
  
Miranda looks thoroughly unimpressed, like a cat turning away from its food just to show the owner who is boss. “I still haven’t forgiven you for that one where you had that secret weekend with Lily.”  
  
Miranda looks crestfallen. “I didn’t know you knew about that one. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. I didn’t write it, you know.”  
  
“Oh. Bother. You didn’t write it, so you must be off the hook. At least in the story you feel conflicted about it. Now, it’s like ‘oh, that wasn’t really me.’”  
  
Angry sigh from Miranda. “You act as if you’ve been totally innocent in all of this.”  
  
“MOST of my cheating or philandering has been with you and someone else. Or was with you and hurting Nate or Christian or one of those OC people.”  
  
“OC.” Miranda looks peeved. “Indeed.  What about the time you slept with Cassidy?"  
  
"What?”  
  
"Oh, yes.  You didn't even know who she was until the next day, did you?"  
  
"Like you knew who Lily was that weekend?"  
  
"At any rate.  We're both guilty, not likely to apologize, and this is not preparing us for whatever may lay ahead.  It's not like they tell us what's going to happen.  They just start writing.  I mean in that one you died and I was a blue demon, like that Sully character out of Monsters, Inc."  Andy giggles.  "No, don't you dare."  Miranda hisses in a low voice.  
  
"You were hot as a blue demon."  Andy looks at her very seriously.  
  
"In any case.  I think we are entirely wrong for each other and yet end up together 9 times out of 10 and rather successfully.  So I don't know why you insist on starting trouble with me right before we are to go on."  
  
“If I get shot—”  
  
“Yes. Andrea. I will be there. Now let’s get on with this fic, shall we?”

 

_**  
—End** _

 

 

 

  
Fics I can remember and specifically alluded to:  
Lily & The Crown (Telanu), Illusions/Illuminations (Chillyflame), Through the Looking Glass (Telanu), The Queen’s Favour (Kitnkabootle), If You Give A Journalist a Donut (Writetherest), Corruption, Purity and Desire (Ragelikeafire), There is a Light (Atrata), Amberlight (Je_talveran), Miriam Princhek (Pin_drop), A Flower that Can Hurt You (Truelywicked), Not So Storybook Romance (Girlie_girl_23), Perfect (I_heart_cuddy), Dance Me To No End (Saedulaque), Jigsaw (Beachbum3668), The ‘Sandwich Sex’ Story (Ms_cherryred), Novel Idea (Ubiquitousmixie and Ellipseisoveruse), Devastating News (Pure_ecstasy6), Parting Gifts (Rhiannonsbirds), My Immortal (Melanacious), Miranda Rides a Unicorn (Outuendo), The Fifty Year Old Virgin Princess (Blue_eyed_devil), Five Minutes (Chillyflame), Accidental Encounter (Thanatopsis76), and I can’t even say how many others that I’ve read in the last two months or so…


End file.
